“I want my wife and I to just… accept each other. But divorce is not an option to me and I think pushing the date back and healing separately will help our future marriage to make more sense.” Don’t get me wrong - we love each other and I’m in this. Something that first bonded us was how we could empathize with a lot of our childhood trauma but as we’re getting closer to our wedding date, it seems like pain is what we have in common more than anything else. “I want to get into some intensive therapy and I want my fiancée to do the same. I’m still feeling this all out, but I don’t see myself married in 2023. It’s a weird feeling to know that you really care about someone, but you think being with them is holding you back. I love my wife, but we don’t mesh anymore and I’m not sure how much of the love is based on who we were back then. “How f - ked up is it that I want a divorce in 2022? No one tells you how much you will not be the same person after a decade or more of marriage. The kids are gonna have to watch Hulu or something.” *laughs* I’m going to make sure we make sex more of a priority. Hectic schedules, a 10- and 7-year-old and different sleep schedules have got us looking crazy out here. Sex with my wife is amazing but so is the talking and my feeling like that is a safe time to just…be when we’re alone like that. Remember how you once said to me that sex is really important to men because it’s the one time where they feel totally comfortable being totally vulnerable? There is a lot of truth to that. “I need our sex life to get back to where it used to be. Yes, you’ve got your girls, but I want to be your man…I want you to want to share your thoughts and feelings with me and not just categorize me as the provider and sex partner.” Zachariah. This year, I want our connection in that way to get better. When I proposed, I made the decision that she would be my first go-to. I think she thinks that a husband isn’t supposed to a friend too because it’s like, we do the dating and sex thing but when it comes to really talking things out, she calls her girls. What isn’t all that great is how ‘much’ her friends are.
Whether that’s one of the three or someone else entirely, I’m not sure yet.” What I’m gonna focus on is making something more exclusive. Even guys get to the point where we want to not have to do so much juggling around with our time, attention and communication.
All this year, dating around was fun but I’m kind of tired now. I like different things about each of them and, what’s weird, is that ‘thing,’ I can’t find in the other two. I’m dating three different women and yes, they all know it. The love is there but the desire is not where it needs to be. What I want my wife and I to do more next year is to ‘woo.’ We’ve stopped doing that and it’s made us both become more distant. This means you need to show them that you appreciate their decision to do so…on a daily basis. When you get married, it’s then really easy to think that it’s not necessary to do so." "Your spouse chooses to stay on a daily basis. It is very easy, when you’re dating, to care about impressing your partner. “Anyone who is single and reading this, please take seriously what I’m about to say.